A dark moment

It’s suddenly hit me how hard what I’m doing is. Out in town with George and I really need to pump, it’s been 5 hours, there’s no milk for him and he’s already had one carton of formula because there was no milk ready and he’s going to have to have a second one. None of the baby feeding rooms have room for us – normally it’s just a chair and a curtain, just cosy enough for a mummy and baby, but no space for me, the pump, our bags, George and his pram, which he has to stay in because I can’t hold him and pump at the same time. I don’t feel comfortable pumping in public so cafes, restaurants and park benches  are out. My only options are a disabled toilet (which I don’t want to pump in because someone might need to use it), public, or not at all. He’s crying and I’m crying. This is too hard.

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